Wednesday, February 5, 2014

A Million Little Stories

Like the one about the guy who came walking into the emergency room with a bullet in his chest.

Or the one about the purple rubber glove and a kiss.

Or failing to stand. Or endless waiting rooms. Or company coming and going and coming back again, laughing and crying and all that fills the moments in between. 

My hubby's mom has severe dementia, and began her forgetting well over a decade ago. My hubby's dad has Alzheimer's and masked it with anger, fooling an entire family for years as we worried about mom.

My certainty that my life will settle into routines of blogging, Bible Study, Homeschooling, ministry and family are foggy wishful thinkings, lost in weeks of ambulance rides, hospital rooms, and decisions.

A year ago, my father in law went into the hospital with severe dehydration. It weakened him so much that he was never able to return to his assisted living center. He stayed in a rehab facility for weeks with my mother in law in the building next door, until they were kicked out. Memory Care for two people in our county was around $150,000 a year. Just as we were preparing to look out of state, we found a memory care facility in a neighboring county that we could afford.

We drove an hour to have a look and loved it.

After three long weeks trying to make it in the assisted living wing, we made the decision to move them to the memory unit...

A few weeks ago my father in law was taken back to the hospital, three times. Twice he would not have made it through the night had he stayed home. Two separate times there have been medication errors. It is exhausting.

All of his kids were here, coincidentally, as this was happening. Saying goodbye when each one left took on a whole new meaning...

But now he seems to be perking back up. Perhaps he may even go back to the memory unit with his wife. 

We have made alternate arrangements. We have a PLAN A and a PLAN B. God has provided, and we are trudging along in faith. But we are weary. My hubby and I are both a bit brain numb today...Sometimes balancing all of life seems impossible.

Because there still is this partial homeschool thing that we are doing, and want to do well.

And a ministry that we are trying to build momentum for. And a airplane my hubby would like to get in the air again, and businesses that must be maintained in order to pay those dog gone bills.

I am pricked by the knowledge that God wants to build my character through all of this. He wants to build my faith and reliance on Him. And so on my gratitude list is added, very simply, deep breaths. They carry me through this season, and help me refocus on the joy that is very real and very present if only I pay attention...

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