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Thursday, December 13, 2012

?????

I am sitting here slightly nauseous. The stress is mounting and I am frustrated.

Lord, help.

I am not sure how to stop the spinning and I know I need to breathe but I am in a coffee shop with teenage noise everywhere but it beats going home where my husband might still be there and still be cranky.

His stress has been mounting for a while.

I want to eliminate it, but I don't know how...not really. I am trying.

I want things to be exactly how I want them. I thought they were moving in that direction and then things shifted. Different perspectives can sometimes be beautiful...like the colors of a kaleidoscope; and sometimes they can be distorted...like trying to wear the wrong pair of glasses.

I want beauty to infuse my world.

However I need beauty to infuse my soul.

Nothing in the last 24 hours changes that. Not the bad day. Not the bad mood. Not the different idea.

"By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; And by knowledge its rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong, and a man of knowledge increases power. For by wise guidance you will wage war," Proverbs 24: 3-6

I want to seek wisdom with greater effectiveness. I feel empty, which is a great pace for God's word to fill me.

I want to ponder understanding. How can I understand the members of my family at a deeper level? How can I encourage them to understand one another at a deeper level?

Help me, Lord. ????????