Perhaps that is okay.
I sit in leadership meetings for women's ministries and I often argue in my head...sometimes even out loud. What if you never find a best friend in your small group?
I think that church can sometimes feel like the loneliest place on the planet.
For years I have wrestled in and out of popularity...in the midst of planning a brighten a corner project there is always much anticipation, excitement and conversation to be had. But in between the wild times, in the down times of real life, I sometimes find it hard to find a sincere "hello".
This summer I think I may have changed that. I accepted that I don't fit in, and prayerfully created a Bible Study that I would love. It came as a result of praying about two things:
- How to be a better steward, and REALLY use what God has given me to His glory.
- How to provide an engaging environment for Ryan, my 7 year old daughter with special needs.
- 10:00 arrive.
- 10:15 do fun, creative activities with our kids
- 11:00 kids outside with childcare, moms watch the video and discuss
- 12:00 Potluck lunch
- 12:30 Open the cover to the pool and swim
I feel like I have new friends. I know that Ryan engaged in more activities than she would have had I not done it. Although she doesn't talk, I know that brain of hers is watching, and learning. This was the scene at my home last night, after the last Bible Study had ended earlier that (very, very hot) day.
You can't see it, but my Bible is to her left, and she is holding the workbook "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God". She had her stuffed animals sitting on the couch, and she was inviting them into the conversation about the book.
Precious. A great reminder. What Happens When Women Say Yes To God? Their children sometimes say yes, too. This never would have happened if I had just waited to fit in.