There was tension in the air, and it was thick.
"I have 6 speech therapy appointments, 5 doctor appointments, out of town company, my father in law may have had a stroke and need to be moved to a different facility to receive more care. I cannot set up a time to meet right now."
"Come on, Robin, you don't have an hour?'
"No. I don't. I am spent."
"Okay, a half an hour."
And that is when it became abundantly clear to me..."I will not do this. My family comes first. You are going to have to wait."
In that moment it did not matter what disagreement, misunderstanding, difficult part of being human led us to this point. I realized exactly what my priorities were, and I would not budge. No matter how offended/angry/disappointed anyone else was. My family comes first.
Less than twenty four hours later my father in law was back in the hospital with life threatening dehydration. He never returned to his previous retirement home...he is still in a rehabilitation facility.
In three short weeks I was in the Emergency Room four times with three different members of my family.
That night of intense "discussion" may be one of the best things to ever happen to me. My eyes feel open wider. My thoughts keep circling back to one notion:
What if I only spent time on things that were worth fighting for?
Can I let everything else go?
What if I spent time asking God to truly show me...if something is not worth fighting for, is it worth expending any of my energy on it? How much of my time, energy, emotions do I waste on things, people, places that will never help someone be closer the Lord or teach my children God's ways or make me love my husband more? Does anything besides those three things really matter?
I am going to continue to dwell on this idea.
I am praying God's joy for simplicity radically changes me, and I can focus with laser intensity in a few things and achieve excellence in those few things.
I am grateful for the fighting words that helped me plant my feet and say to myself (more than anyone else) "I will not do this right now. My family needs me."